Time Heals All Wounds
“So let me get this straight,” Steve said trying to make sure he understood the information Danny had just given him. “You checked the perimeters and found an abandoned cabin with only two rooms?”
Danny pursed his lips and nodded. “The trail in which Mia supposedly came from, leads to that cabin. Chin, Kono, and I along with HPD checked it out. It’s very small with only a small kitchen and living room all blended together and another small room where we found a few pieces of women’s clothes. We’re assuming they belong to Mia but we won’t know for sure until they’re processed,” Danny explained looking at Steve. “I don’t know how well they treated Mia in that place, Steve, but it’s a mess. The room they had her in has one small window probably the size of that picture frame you just showed Mia.”
Steve held onto the mug in his hands with a strong grip as he took in everything Danny was telling him. He looked briefly towards the backyard and was able to make out Mia in the distance sitting on the sand. Then he turned to look at Danny and noticed something else was on his partner’s mind.
“What else Danny? I can see something’s troubling you,” Steve said.
Danny hesitated on whether he should tell Steve what else he saw but he knew Steve had to know exactly everything. “On the bed, Steve, there were chains on the bed. I’m thinking they might have had Mia tied up to the bed.”
“What?” he asked, feeling the anger within him grow.
“We don’t know for sure, Steve. I mean, the doctor would have told us if there were signs of torture, right?” Danny quickly added. “Clearly, there wasn’t. Our only hope at the moment is for Mia to remember something.”
Steve leaned back on his chair and ran his hands over his face in frustration. “Honestly, I don’t know how I am going to manage, Danny. I have my wife back and you have no idea how happy that makes me but at the same time it’s like I’m looking at a complete stranger. Last night, I barely touched her arm and she flinched.”
“It’s understandable,” Danny said with a shrug. “She doesn’t remember you Steve and it’s expected for her to be uncomfortable with anyone she crosses paths with.”
“Yeah, but I just, I just wished there was something I could do to help her. Sometimes I don’t know what is worse, thinking she was dead or finding out she doesn’t remember anything,” Steve said in a low voice.
“Hey none of that, at least you have Mia back, Steve. Think about Chin and what he would give just to have Malia back even if she didn’t remember anything,” Danny said. “You should be grateful that God is giving you both another chance to be together.”
Steve didn’t say anything but knew Danny was right. Suddenly Steve felt like he was suffocating and needed to get out if only just for a few minutes. He stood up and looked down at Danny who was looking expectantly at him. “Would you mind staying here for an hour or two? I just need to get out for a moment,” Steve said.
Danny stood up and nodded. “Sure, no problem, I’ll keep an eye on things here,” Danny said understanding where Steve was coming from. He thought Steve was doing a great job of keeping it together but even the toughest person need some time alone to let it out.
“Thanks,” Steve said not wasting another minute and grabbing his keys as he walk towards the door.
Mia ran out of the house towards the beach in the backyard feeling like she was suffocating. She ran until the tears falling from her eyes blurred her vision and dropped to her knees at the waters edge sobbing uncontrollably. The feeling of frustration and impotence of not knowing who she was growing bigger with each passing day and now she had just found out she was a mother to a one year-old girl.
One year, she thought, she had missed a whole year of her daughter’s life.
Who would be so malicious and heartless to keep her from being with her child? To top everything off, she knew she was hurting Steve. He was trying to put up a front but she knew, she felt it, how much she was hurting him. What would happen if she never remembered anything or him? Steve would probably end up hating her and wishing she had never come back.
Mia sat on the sand feeling the water come and go around her as she stared into the horizon mulling things over when she felt the presence of someone standing right beside her. She didn’t bother turning to see who it was but from the corner of her eye she could see dark slacks folded up and bare feet. Steve didn’t wear slacks, well not that she could actually remember, so she assumed it was his friend.
“You know, I’m not a big fan of the ocean and all this sand but I’ve got to admit the views around here are breathtaking,” Danny said as he stood by Mia with his hands in his pockets letting the warm and the sand get stuck in between his toes.
Mia heard him but didn’t feel like talking. He was right, though; the views were breathtaking and very soothing.
Danny sighed when he received no response from Mia. “You’re really going to make me sit here and get my butt wet and sandy?” he joked looking down at the top of her head.
“No one is making you,” she replied in a small voice but loud enough for Danny to hear.
“You’re right,” he said dropping on his butt right next to Mia not believing he was actually doing this, “but if it’ll get you to talk to me then I’ll make myself.” He looked at her with a smile on his lips. “Just don’t tell your husband about it.”
Mia snorted very unladylike. “If I can even manage to remember that,” she replied dryly. She turned to look at him with a solemn look on her face and said, “You know, I think he thinks he can fool me but I know how much my memory loss is affecting him.”
Danny’s smiled slowly faded after hearing Mia. “Can you blame him, though?” he said softly. “He thought his wife, the love of his life and the mother of his daughter, had died in the hospital explosion but somehow she managed to survive it all. Just when he’s starting to seem like he’s finally trying to move on with his life for the sake of his daughter he’s thrown another curveball. Not only is his wife alive but she also has no memory, no recollection whatsoever of what happened, and absolutely no idea who he is.”
Mia quickly looked away feeling the tears in her eyes threatening to come free once again. “It’s barely been over a week since the accident and barely a day since I’ve been in this house but I feel like maybe I should’ve never come back. I feel like maybe that hit I took should have been stronger and I would be really dead. It would save everyone so much pain.”
“Hey, hey, come on, don’t say that,” Danny said as he scooted closer and placed an arm around Mia’s shoulders to try to comfort her. “We’re all happy to have you back, more than happy. Yes Steve might be hurting but behind that mask that he puts up he’s ecstatic to have you back. He might not show it because he’s simply trying to do everything in his power to help you settle back into a normal life and find the people responsible for what you went through.”
“What happens when I can’t remember him or anything we ever went through? What if I don’t remember that I was once in love with him?” she asked full of anguish.
“Then you’ll both cross that bridge when the time comes. You fell in love with him once, what makes you think you can’t do it again?” Danny said as if it were very simple.
“You know, Danny, you’re a great friend. Steve must feel grateful to have someone like you as a friend and coworker,” Mia said turning her face to face Danny and giving him the first genuine smile to reach her eyes since she woke up in the hospital.
“Yeah, maybe you can do me a favor and remind him of that, will you?” he returned smiling back at her.
Mia’s smile widened. She hadn’t realized how close Danny was and suddenly she felt her self get lost in his hypnotizing blue eyes. They were the bluest eyes she’d ever seen, not that she could remember any other set of blue eyes except for Steve’s. Steve’s eyes didn’t shine as bright as Danny’s but maybe that was because of everything that had been going on lately.
Danny didn’t know how it happened but he couldn’t seem to take his eyes away from Mia. She looked so lost and it hurt him to see her hurting as well. Suddenly he felt Mia leaning closer. Danny tensed and immediately removed his arm from Mia’s shoulders as he turned away trying to put some distance between Mia and him.
“I’m sorry, Danny” Mia whispered with her head down feeling ashamed for what she had been close to doing. She hadn’t done it deliberately but it had been as if her body had a mind of its own and she found herself leaning closer to Danny when not even a minute before she had been thinking about Steve.
Danny cleared his throat feeling the awkwardness that had settled in between them. He managed a smile but without turning to look at her he said, “Don’t worry. Let’s just forget about it, okay?” he said as he stood up and extended a hand to help Mia up.
Mia nodded and took his hand to help her stand up. “Why don’t you tell me about yourself?” Mia asked trying to ease the tension.
“Well let’s see, I am a thirty-six year old divorced Detective working for the Governor’s Task Force your husband runs and I’m also the father of the most beautiful ten year-old girl you’ll ever meet,” Danny said his eyes brightening up when he mentioned being a father.
“You seem to be very proud of her. She must be a very special kid,” Mia said smiling at him.
“She is, she’s every -” Danny’s words died on his lips as he turned to begin walking back to the house when he spotted a very unhappy Steve standing by the lanai with his arms crossed across his chest. He stopped on his spot wondering how long Steve had been standing there. Danny didn’t know why he was feeling guilty if he hadn’t done anything wrong but if Steve had seen what Mia had been about to do a few minutes ago then there would be hell to pay.
“What’s wrong Danny? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Mia said playfully poking Danny on his side. She turned to look in the direction Danny was looking and her smile faded.
“You’re husband is back,” he said simply as he recovered and began walking to face Steve.
“Hey Steve,” Danny said as form of greeting once he reached Steve who didn’t bother to return his greeting as he kept his firm gaze on Mia. Danny turned to look in the direction of Steve’s gaze and watched with him as Mia finally joined them.
“Hey,” Mia greeted softly.
“Go change out of your wet clothes. We’re leaving,” Steve ordered before turning around and walking into the house.
Mia looked at Danny with questioning eyes to which he simply shrugged not knowing either what was wrong with him. She followed after Steve to figure out where they were going. “Can I at least know where we’re going?” she asked as she followed him into the kitchen.
“I managed to get you to see your doctor earlier than planned,” he said as he served himself a glass of water not once bothering to turn to look at her.
“Oh,” she said softly. “I’ll be quick then.” Mia quickly left Steve with Danny, who had followed after them once he had dried his feet enough to put his shoes back on.
“Steve,” Danny began ready to apologize, for what, he didn’t know. He just felt like he needed to apologize to Steve.
Steve shook his head to stop Danny from continuing. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he said as he faced outside the window that was over the sink. He slowly turned around and faced Danny giving him a hard look. “I’ll be in the office first thing Monday morning.”
“What?” Danny asked confused. “What about Mia? Aren’t you worried someone will come after her?”
“Then we’ll be ready for it,” Steve said.
“Then you’re going to use her for -”
“I’m not going to use her for anything, Daniel. Mia and I need to try to have a normal routine and the only way to accomplish that is for me to go back to work. After today’s appointment we’ll see if I can bring Sophie home and then Mia will have something to keep her busy. Plus, she doesn’t seem to need me much around here,” Steve said giving Danny a piercing look.
Danny ignored Steve’s remark. “What about security?”
“There will be someone parked right outside making rounds every hour just to make sure nothing is out of the ordinary. I’m doing this for her Danny,” Steve said a bit more relaxed. “Mia needs to feel a sense of normalcy and this is the only way I know how to give it to her. Mary has agreed to stay for a bit longer to help Mia with Sophie.”
“Oh, okay,” Danny responded.
“Unless you want to do the honors and become her personal bodyguard,” Steve added with a slight drip of sarcasm. “She seems to be very fond of you.”
Before Danny could reply, Mia joined them once again ready to head out. “I’m ready,” she said instantly becoming aware of the thick tension in the room.
“I’ll get of your way then,” Danny said as he walked towards the door and let himself out not waiting for a response from either McGarrett.
Steve and Mia arrived at the therapist’s office right on time. The twenty minute drive had been filled with pure silence. Mia didn’t know what to say and Steve was brooding over the scene he’d witnessed in his own backyard. He’d gotten home after making several calls to arrange for an earlier appointment for Mia and visiting his daughter to witness his wife talking freely with his best friend and partner. Steve knew he could trust Danny. Danny would never betray Steve but Steve’s trust issues came fool force at the sight in front of him. At one point he knew he could also trust Mia but that had been when she knew who he was. Now Mia was a complete stranger and he didn’t know what she was and wasn’t capable of doing. It was moments like these when he hated everything he’d gone through in his life and blamed his mother even more for his trust issues. Now at the smallest things his red flags would rise and it disgusted him to even think Mia would do something like fall for his partner. When they arrived, Steve decided to put this issue in the back of his mind for now. He needed to focus on Mia and helping her get better soon.
They walked in and Mia was immediately ushered into the therapist’s office but he was asked to wait outside, something he didn’t appreciate. He wanted to be there to try to understand what Mia was going through and feeling but the assistant had said it was the patient’s right to privacy so Steve gave the assistant a curt nod and dropped on a nearby chair ready to wait.
Mia was relieved when Steve was not allowed to come inside with her. She didn’t want him to hear what she talked to the doctor about.
“Hello Mrs. McGarrett, I’m Doctor Cage,” the doctor greeted when Mia walked into his office. He seemed to be in his forties with the sides of his hair slightly grayed and very fit for his age.
“Call me Mia, please. Mrs. McGarrett sounds weird,” she said giving him a small smile as she took a seat on the sofa opposite of the armchair he was sitting in.
“Alright, Mia it is then,” Dr. Cage said smiling at his new patient. “I was barely going to study your file when your husband insisted on bringing you in earlier than planned. He seemed very preoccupied and insistent so I was barely able to scan through it. Luckily one of my other patients cancelled so why don’t you tell me why you’re here.”
Mia sighed as she twisted her hands in a nervous gesture. “Well I would’ve been fine waiting until tomorrow but apparently my husband thinks I have issues. I didn’t even know about the change until a few minutes ago,” she said looking at her hands.
“You want me to bring him in then so he can tell us what his urgency was about?” the doctor offered.
“No,” she said right away bringing her head up to look at the doctor.
“Okay, alright why don’t we start from the beginning,” he said opening her file to read through it. “I’m just going to go through some ground rules first and then we’ll get started. Is that good?”
Mia nodded and listened as the doctor explained what they would be doing during their sessions and how everything she said would stay between them to respect her privacy unless her life was in danger then he would have to consult with the appropriate people. He then went on to tell her what he knew about her case so far.
“So we’re basically here to try to help you and guide you through your memory loss hoping we can trigger a memory but also helping you cope with it,” Dr. Cage said finally looking up at her. “There are some notes at the bottom saying you’ve been experiencing nightmares? When your husband spoke to me on the phone earlier he said last night you had a nightmare and he found you doubling over in pain on the floor of your daughter’s nursery. According to him, he became worried when he asked you if you were still feeling the pain once he brought you to bed and you seemed to not remember the pain.”
“Everything is so confusing,” Mia confessed. “I was sleeping fine but suddenly I started hearing voices and a baby crying. It started out low and suddenly the noise grew in intensity to a point where I couldn’t tolerate it. I don’t remember how or why I even ended up in the nursery.”
“So you do remember the pain?” he asked while taking notes.
“I remember feeling it but now I’m not so sure if I was in actual pain because it left as fast as it came. I’m not going crazy am I?” Mia asked worriedly looking at the doctor.
Dr. Cage chuckled slightly shaking his head. “No, at least not that I’m aware of, you’re mind is simply trying to regain some of what it has lost. With memory loss, people often experience confusion but that is due your brain trying to sort through your memories. You might remember an event in your life but at the same time confuse it with another one, which leads me to another concern your husband had,” he said looking back at his notes. “It seems you remembered your first pregnancy, which ended in miscarriage, and confused it with your second pregnancy.”
“It wasn’t a miscarriage,” Mia said.
“Oh?” Dr. Cage said as he brought his questioning gaze up to Mia’s solemn one.
“My mother pushed me down the stairs when I was fifteen. That was when I was pregnant the first time,” Mia said.
“And you remembered all this?”
“No,” she said with a shake of her head. “I remembered falling down the stairs and seeing a woman there, then the doctor telling me Sophie was dead. It was Steve who clarified everything. He said when I was fifteen I was pregnant and my mother pushed me down the stairs causing me to lose that baby. My second pregnancy resulted in Sophie but she’s fine.”
“Alright, how are you feeling about all this?”
“Shit, I feel like shit,” Mia said bluntly. “I wish this was all big a nightmare and that I could wake up and remember everything. I hate seeing how much I’m hurting Steve by not remembering him and to be honest, sometimes I wished I had actually died in that hospital explosion everyone mentions.”
Dr. Cage’s red flag came up at this. “Mia, I’m going to ask you something and I want you to be completely honest with me,” he said placing the file on his lap and scooting closer to the edge of his seat. “Has the word suicide ever crossed your mind since you woke up in the hospital?”
“What?” Mia asked taken aback. “No, of course not.”
“Then tell me why do you feel like you should have died in the explosion?”
“I just feel like it would have been for the best to prevent all the pain I’m causing Steve,” she said.
“Don’t you think you would cause him more pain if he heard you say that?” Dr. Cage asked.
“Why would he want a wife that has no memories of them two together when he could find someone new and create new memories?” she countered.
“But he does remember everything about you two together and having his wife back even with no memory must be better than to actually know she’s dead and will never come back,” he said. “Right now, I want you to focus on you and only you. Stop worrying about the pain you’re causing Steve and try to focus on yourself. I want to see you again next week. I don’t think seeing you twice a week is necessary but I will recommend a normal routine. I want you to try and have a normal life, go out, do things you want to do, explore the island, surround yourself with the people who know you, and talk to your husband. We’re going to see if any of these help trigger a memory and when I see you we will record the process. I also want to try hypnosis but not without your husband’s consent. He has to agree to it.”
Mia took in everything the doctor was telling her but didn’t comment on any of it. She just wanted to do whatever she could to remember something, anything. He gave her a paper where he had written everything he had just suggested and then stood up ready to leave. She said goodbye to the doctor and walked out to the waiting room to find Steve scanning through a magazine looking up when he heard a door open.
“We can go,” she said.
“Is everything alright?” he asked worriedly.
“Yeah,” she said avoiding his searching eyes and walking towards the exit.
They rode in silence for ten minutes until Steve couldn’t take it anymore. “How did it go with the doctor?”
“Fine,” she said looking out the window.
“Did you remember anything?” he asked knowing he was pushing it but Mia’s short responses were worrying him.
“It was just the first meeting,” she snapped turning to look at him. “What did you expect me to come out of the office after just two hours and say ‘Hey guess what? I just remembered everything, yey me!’”
“That’s not what I meant,” Steve stated stealing a brief glance in her direction before returning his focus on the road ahead.
“I know,” she said a bit more relaxed. Mia sighed and looking him, she said, “I’m sorry. Everything is just so frustrating and I wished even just this one meeting would have helped. The doctor just wants me to lead a normal life and try to do ‘normal‘ things. Surround myself with people I know and explore the island.”
Steve nodded in acknowledgement as they pulled into the driveway and then took the paper Mia had placed by his leg. He looked briefly at it seeing it was instructions the doctor had given her. Steve noticed at the bottom it said to talk to her husband and he just wished Mia would do just that. He got out of the truck and opened Mia’s door to help her out before she even had a chance to open the door herself.
Mia took the hand Steve offered to help her out of the truck but she miscalculated and lost her balance. Thankfully, Steve was there and was quick to hold her. “Phew, that was close, thank you,” she said looking up at him when he didn’t let go. Mia took in the way he was looking at her. Was that longing, she thought inwardly. She watched as his eyes turned a deeper shade of blue and felt her body respond at his intense gaze.
Steve had missed holding Mia in his arms, even if just for a moment but it felt great. He couldn’t help but stare at her and into her beautiful hazel eyes. He saw her lick her lips and fought an internal battle with himself. Steve looked from her eyes to her lips, repeating the act at least three times until he couldn’t take it anymore. Before he allowed himself to continue over thinking it, his lips came crashing down onto hers. He began to regret it when he felt her tense up but after a moment he felt her respond with equal aggression.
Mia wasn’t expecting this. She tensed at first no knowing whether to continue or not. Before she could make up her mind, she felt her body act on its own volition and soon her arms were wrapped around his neck pressing her closer to Steve’s body. Mia could feel Steve’s bulge pressing into her belly and she was getting lost in the moment, feeling Steve’s hand slowly descend to her bottom and feeling him press her even closer to him causing her to let out a moan in response.
“I’m sorry I think with my old age I’m starting to hear things,” he said with a small laugh as he stood up and turned to face Mia. “I thought I’d just heard you say you were pregnant, which can’t be true.” But when he looked up for a confirmation that he heard wrong, her tears confirmed he had not heard her wrong nor was he imagining things.
“I’m so sorry,” cried Mia as she covered her sobs with her hands. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Mia wrinkled her eyes in confusion as she felt Steve kiss her neck.
“Steve has to know. I’m terrified; I can’t do this on my own. I don’t know what to do.”
Mia was trying to focus on Steve’s touch but the memories kept flooding in and she couldn’t stop them.
“I’m sorry Mia.” Turning to look her in the eyes he said to her, “Steve wants nothing to do with the baby.”
When Mia felt Steve’s hand slowly come up her leg making its way under her dress she froze as the words hit her full force. With all the force she could gather, she placed her hands on Steve’s chest and pushed him away from her.
“You son of a bitch!” Mia growled as she brought a hand and slapped Steve across the face and pushed him out of the way as she stormed towards the house.
Steve was bewildered by Mia’s actions. He placed a hand where Mia had just hit him knowing she had probably left a mark and quickly followed after her. “What the hell was that?” he demanded following her into the house and slamming the door behind him. “You didn’t seem to be complaining.”
“You lied to me!” she shouted coming to a stop at the foot of the stairs after hearing Steve and turning to face him pointing an accusatory finger at him. “You told me you had no idea I was pregnant when I was fifteen and you did! I just remembered it. You told your father you wanted nothing to do with the baby!”
Realization dawned on Steve. “Mia it’s not like that. It was all a big misunderstanding,” he tried explaining.
“The only misunderstanding here were your real intentions. How did you even manage to lure me back into falling for you a second time? Why would I marry someone so despicable like you!” she shouted as she turned around and ran up the rest of the stairs locking herself in her room.
Steve paced the small are by the stairs running a hand through his hair in frustration before coming to a stop by the wall next to the stairs and letting out his frustrations on it when he slammed his fist on it not caring about the searing pain. Mia had just remembered something and she had it all wrong but she didn’t want to listen to him and let him explain. He stole one last look up the stairs and resigned himself knowing Mia would not hear him out at the moment. Steve marched down to the beach and stripped down to his boxer briefs before diving into the cool water hoping a few laps would help calm him down.