Time Heals All Wounds
“It’s not the same thing,” Mia whispered.
Steve couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “Of course it’s not the same thing. You grew up with Savannah. You two were practically sisters while Danny was just your coworker, my partner.”
“But I don’t know her!” Mia said raising her voice as she became once again annoyed.
“You don’t know Danny either! You don’t want to give anyone the chance to get to know them again.”
“That’s not true! I want to make this work, I know now that I do, but I can’t be your wife in the full sense of the term “wife” and I know you have expectations as a husband,” Mia said.
“You think this is about sex?” Steve asked filled with incredulity. “If all I wanted out of this was sex I wouldn’t even be bothering trying to save this marriage. I can easily go out and pick up the first girl I see but do you see me doing that? No, Mia, you don’t and you never will. All I wanted until a day ago was my wife back.”
“Well how can I be so certain you’re not screwing around? All those times you’ve come home late. That’s if you’ve even come home,” Mia retorted ignoring the last part of his statement.
“Oh no, you know damn well where I am at. I’m working Mia! I’m trying to find the people responsible for everything you’ve been through so don’t even try to make this into something it’s not,” Steve said in a cold voice as he pointed a finger at her.
“How can I believe you when you don’t even tell me anything about it?” Mia shot back.
“It’s called trust, Mia. You have to trust me,” Steve said.
“Like you trust me?” Mia sneered.
Steve stared at Mia long and hard. Steve had made a decision to let Mia go but if she really wanted to work things out she had to give it her all and make him trust her again. After finding out from Danny that she had kissed him Steve had lost the small amount of trust he still had in her. “You make it very difficult with your actions lately.”
“What are you talking about? I haven’t done anything to make you doubt me,” Mia said filled with confusion.
“Really, are you sure about that Mia?” Steve asked with a chuckle. “How about all those times you’ve secretly met with Danny behind my back? You think I don’t know what’s going on? When you try to accuse me of screwing around behind your back you should take a look in the mirror and make sure you’re not doing the same thing.”
Mia paled noticeably and Steve saw it right away. He shook his head and walked up the stairs to pack his bag. He had finally been given the green light to go back to North Korea after years of negotiations to recover his fallen buddy’s, Freddie Hart, body. He knew leaving in a moment where Mia needed him was not the best move but Steve needed to get away. He was suffocating in a house that no longer felt like his safe haven. These few days apart might help him clear his mind and maybe what Mia needed was some space as well.
Mia walked into her room twenty minutes later to find Steve closing a bag and half dressed in his uniform. “What’s going on? You’re leaving?” she asked full of worry.
Steve stopped what he was doing and looked up at Mia who was standing by the door he finally fixed. He nodded as he grabbed a dark green t-shirt from the bed and put it on. “I got called to bring back a fallen buddy’s body after years of negotiations.”
“But you can’t go. Why can’t they send someone else?” Mia asked walking into the room.
“I have to do this Mia. I promised his family I would bring him back and I am.”
“What about me? Us?” Mia replied in a choked voice as she looked from the packed bag on the bed to Steve.
Steve finished buttoning up his uniform before looking into Mia’s eyes. “I think this will be good for both of us, some time apart to think things through will help.”
“We should talk to my doctor first. What about if this only sets us back?” Mia said as she tried to find any excuse possible to not let Steve go.
“The only person setting us back is you Mia. You need to think about this, us, and see if you’re willing to try and make it work despite your memory loss. As for the doctor’s opinion I don’t think it really matters. If it did you wouldn’t have missed your last two appointments would you?” Steve asked giving Mia a pointed look.
Mia was shocked. How did Steve know she had skipped out on her last two appointments?
“Don’t look so surprised. I know everything Mia. Despite the fact that you don’t want me there I still care and I want to know everything but since you won’t talk to me, which I should remind was one of the doctor’s recommendations from day one, I have called your doctor to ask about your progress.”
“You called my doctor behind my back? What happened to doctor/patient confidentiality?” Mia asked outraged that Steve would do that.
Steve chuckled as he shook his head at the irony of the situation.
“You think this is funny!” Mia asked as she punched Steve on his stomach.
Steve was quick. He immediately sobered and grabbed Mia’s wrist. “No Mia. This is not even close to funny but I find it a bit ironic because that’s exactly what you’ve been doing. You’re sneaking around behind my back to see Danny. Tell me something Mia, are you screwing around with him? Is he that good that you can’t stop seeing him and calling him even when we’re in a middle of a case? Huh, tell me!”
Mia wanted to punch Steve so hard but he was holding on tight and when she tried to hit him with her other hand he grabbed that one too. “Let me go!” she demanded as she tried to break free of his strong hold.
“Is that what you want me to do, Mia? You really want me to let you go,” he asked looking deeply into her eyes and making it obvious he was referring to their marriage.
Mia stared deeply into Steve’s eyes and knew he wasn’t referring to the hold he had on her. He was actually referring to them, their marriage. Was this what she really wanted? Did she really want Steve to set her free once and for all?
“What’s taking you too long Mia? It’s a simple question or are you debating on whether Danny will be good enough for you?” As he said this he let go of Mia’s wrists and instantly regretted it when a fist collided with his jaw. Steve was stunned. He never expected Mia to actually punch him. He knew she had a good hand and she had slapped him before but never punched him. Steve placed a hand over the sore spot and looked incredulously at Mia.
“You’re an asshole! I’ve never screwed around with Danny!” Mia shouted feeling hurt and insulted at Steve’s accusations.
“But you kissed him and to me that’s the same shit! Do you have any idea what you’re doing to Danny? To me? To the friendship we’ve build the last couple of years? He’s like my brother! You kissed my best friend, my partner!”
Mia couldn’t believe Danny had told him. She knew what she had done was wrong but she had acted on impulse and the moment she did she regretted it. When she felt Danny’s lips on hers Mia knew immediately it was wrong, very wrong and she realized the only person she wanted to kiss and to kiss her back was the one standing in front of her.
“That was a mistake and I’m sorry,” Mia said in a soft voice.
“A mistake? You think a simple ‘sorry it was a mistake’ is going to erase what’s already done? Do you think I can look at Danny after knowing he kissed my wife? I work with the guy every single damn day and you’re sorry?”
“I don’t know what to say! I know I shouldn’t have done it in the first place,” Mia said her voice edging on hysteria.
“Then why did you?”
“It was an impulse. I didn’t think I just reacted”
Steve grabbed Mia from her upper arms and brought her to him slamming his lips down on hers and demanding access into her mouth. He kissed her with every ounce of his being and when he felt Mia respond after she recovered from the surprise, Steve pulled back. “How’s that for an impulse? I’m sorry I didn’t think I just reacted,” he said in a mocking tone throwing her own words back in her face. He saw Mia raise her hand but Steve grabbed it. “Not anymore Mia. I’m not your punching bag. If you want to take it out on someone, take it out on the wall or use the punching bag in the garage but you’re done using me.”
“You’re an egotistical son of a bitch. You can’t just kiss me like that to prove a point!” Mia shouted at Steve.
“You’re my wife! I shouldn’t even have to think twice before kissing you or touching you but I have to because every time I try to get close to you, you flinch,” Steve argued.
“Because you’re always looking at me like you hate me! You hate that I’m not the same woman you fell in love with you and as much as you deny it you know it’s true!”
“Fine! Yes I hate the fact that you can’t remember me or our marriage! I hate that this whole situation is so screwed up but what I hate the most is that despite everything I still love you and I want to make this marriage work! I hate that I have to be the one to try to make something work when the other person is not even making the most minimal effort! That’s what I hate Mia but I could never hate you because I love you so damn much!” Steve said finally admitting how he truly felt.
Mia couldn’t hold back no more. She ignored the tears falling from her eyes and threw herself at Steve, kissing him like there was no tomorrow.
Steve was caught completely off guard. He was waiting for Mia to yell at him or throw things, anything but having her in his arms.
Mia began to frantically undo Steve’s buttons and whispering against his lips. “If you really love me then prove it,” she whispered in between frantic kisses. “Prove to me that you really love me and still want me.”
“Mia, I love you so much but we don’t have to do this,” Steve whispered against her lips once he recovered from the shock.
“I know how this all looks cheesy but you know I’m a big romantic at heart and with a little help from Savi I was able to pull it off.” Taking a deep breath she looked at Steve in the eyes and said, “I love you Steve and I don’t want to wait anymore. If I’m ever going to be with someone for the first time I want that person to be you. I love you and I trust you.”
Steve was speechless. He had never pressured her into anything and he knew he wanted to be with her too. He just wanted her to be positive.
He reached for her, held her face in his hands, and whispered to her “I love you Mia but I don’t want to pressure you into something you’re not completely positive about. I can wait if you want…”
“I want to, please.” Mia pushed Steve backwards towards the bed until the back of his knees collided with the bed causing him to sit and her to sit astride him. Mia removed his top as she placed scattered kisses on his neck and was struggling with the buttons of his pants when he felt a hand stop her. She looked up at Steve’s glazed look matching her own so full of desire.
“Mia we can’t do this,” he whispered in a hoarse voice.
“Why not? I know you want this. I can feel it,” she said as she moved slightly around causing shivers down her spine and Steve to groan.
He placed his hands on her waist to stop her movements. “I want you so much Mia and I’ve been waiting for this for so long but are you really sure this is what you want?”
Mia nodded as she leaned in to place a small kiss on Steve’s lips.
“Once we start this there won’t be any going back,” Steve said in between hungry kisses.
“I thought this was already started,” Mia whispered against his lips.
Steve groaned and lifted Mia as he got up and turned around climbing onto the bed placing her in the middle. He looked intently into her eyes and before he could doubt himself once again he kissed her with ardor, wanting to savor the moment. He trailed kisses down her jaw onto her neck as he felt Mia wrap her legs around him.
Mia groaned at the feelings Steve’s touch was doing to her. She felt like she was on fire and the only one who could help her was Steve.
“Hey,” he said, “can we talk?”
“Yeah, sure,” she said as she went and sat on her desk chair and Steve sat on the chair across from her on the other side of her desk.
“I want to talk about last night,” he said.
Mia leaned her head against her chair and told Steve as she looked at the ceiling, “I don’t want to talk about it Steve. I think everything was pretty much said last night.”
“Not everything and you know it Mia,” he tried reasoning with her. “You still haven’t told me how you lost the baby and I’ll respect that for now. Sooner or later I’ll want to know how it happened. We still need to figure out why my dad did what he did. I want to know, he must have had a good reason for that. Don’t you want to know?”
“He’s dead Steve!” she yelled as she bolted out of her chair, placed her hands on the desk as she leaned in and continued in a slightly raised voice, “We’ll never know why he did what he did and honestly I don’t think I want to know anymore. It’s not going to change the past and it definitely won’t bring my baby back.”
Steve got out of his chair and took the same position Mia was in and leaned in closer as he said in clenched teeth, “I know it won’t change anything but I need to know that my father wasn’t as cruel as he seemed for what he did. I need to know that he did it for a good enough reason.”
Mia took a step back and let out a sarcastic laugh, “So this is what it all boils down to, you needing answers. What’s wrong Steve, can’t accept the fact that the man we all thought of as an honest, admirable, hero turned out to be nothing but a cold hearted bastard?”
“Not everyone is like you Mia,” he sneered.
Mia was taken aback by Steve’s comment and the tears brimming in her eyes were proof of that. “Yeah, well I’ve got all you people to thank for that,” she said as she got her stuff and made her way out of her office.
Steve was hot on her heels. He wasn’t going to let her have the last word in once more and he was not done talking to her.
“Mia, we’re not done talking,” he yelled after her.
“Yeah well too bad Commander because I am.”
Mia blinked trying to clear her mind and focus but the memories were coming in floods.
“So whose room is this?” she asked as she walked in and sat on the bed. “It’s really comfy,” she said as she patted the spot next to her for Steve to join her.
Steve smiled knowing where Mia was going with this. “Yeah it actually is,” he said as he sat next to her and Mia came closer to him. “I know first-hand because this right here is my room, and I bet you already knew that.”
“Damn and here I thought that maybe this would be the first time I could slip something past you,” she whispered against Steve’s lips. She didn’t let him respond as she pushed Steve down on the bed and straddled him.
“Mia I don’t think we-” he began but was cut off by Mia capturing his lips in a heated and passionate kiss.
“You think way too much,” she whispered against his ear as she gently bit it causing Steve to shiver in response.
“The team will be here soon and so will Savi and Jake,” he tried reasoning with her but she was having none of that as she kissed his neck, his jaw, and once again captured his lips in another heated kiss.
“Don’t worry, we have time,” she said as she sat on his hips and began to undo his belt buckle and purposely moving against his growing erection.
“Mia you’re killing me here,” he said as he covered his eyes with one arm.
“Well then I’ll just have to make sure you die a happy man,” she said with a wicked smile as Steve removed his arm just in time to see it.
Steve sat up straddling Mia to remove his t-shirt never taking his eyes off her. She looked like an angel laying in the middle of the bed with her hair tussled looking flushed and her lips swollen. He looked back up at her eyes and noticed she seemed in a daze. “Are you okay?” He asked as he stood up to quickly remove his boots and pants staying in his boxer briefs.
“Yeah, yeah, just hurry please,” Mia said raising herself slightly on her elbows.
“Are you sure, you looked like your mind was somewhere else,” Steve said after noticing the distracted look in her eyes.
“I’m fine Steve,” Mia said as she sat up on her knees and placed a hand around his neck to pull his head down and kiss him.
Steve didn’t have to be told twice. He pulled the straps of her summer dress down pushing the dress down until it puddled around her legs. He gently pushed Mia down on the bed and she kicked the dress away leaving both of them in only their underwear. “God you’re so beautiful. Even more than I remembered,” he said as he took in her naked body from the waist up. “But I think we should get rid of these.” In one swift move Steve got rid of Mia’s panties leaving her completely naked and exposed.
“Someone needs to stop talking, Mia whispered as she took Steve’s hand and pulled him to her.
“We are gathered here, not to witness the beginning of what will be, but rather what already is! We do not create this marriage, because we cannot. We can and do, however, celebrate with Steve McGarret and Mia Summers the wondrous and joyful occurrence that has already taken place in their lives and the commitment they make today. Today you enter as individuals, but you will leave here as husband and wife, blending your lives, expanding your family ties, and embarking upon the grandest adventure of human interaction. The story of your life together is still yours to write. All those present have come to witness and celebrate your love and commitment this day, eager to be part of the story not yet told.”
The pastor continued to talk to them about the importance of marriage and what their union today would mean. There were also two readings and then the pastor continued.
“And now, by the power invested in me by the State of Hawaii, I hereby pronounce you husband and wife. Family and friends, I present to you Steven and Mia McGarrett,” the pastor announced. He turned to Steve and said, “You may now kiss the bride.”
Steve turned to face Mia and placed a hand around her neck to bring her face to his and kissed her, earning cheers and applauses from the guests. “I love you,” he whispered against her lips.
“I love you too,” she whispered back fighting to hold the tears back but not succeeding as she felt a lone tear trail down her face.
“Hey, no tears today,” Steve said wiping the tear away with his thumb.
“They’re happy tears,” she said smiling at him.
He trailed kisses down her neck to her shoulder while his hands roamed her body seeking body contact as they reached her flat stomach slowly crawling up just beneath her breasts and gently cupping one breast in his hand while his mouth continued its assault on her neck. He bent and took one erect nipple into his mouth as he sucked on it and bit gently on it softly blowing air repeating the process with her other breast.
Mia moaned in response to Steve’s gentle assault of her breasts. She felt like she was floating and couldn’t find her ground. She raked her nails down Steve’s back arching her back in satisfaction wanting to feel Steve closer, urging him on. She wanted Steve and she wanted him now.
“Shh, in time baby, just relax and enjoy it,” he whispered against her ear and once again claimed her mouth with his.
“Steve,” she hoarsly whispered reaching in between them to try and remove the only barrier between them, his boxer briefs.
Steve sat up on his knees giving Mia a sexy smile as he removed them throwing it on the floor. “Happy?” he smirked grabbing her hands and bringing them over her her head as he bent down to kiss her softly on her lips gently biting down on her lower lip.
Mia wrigggled around until Steve finally let go of her hands and using all her strength she managed to push Steve down onto the mattress while she sat astride him. “I’m done playing around,” she whispered huskily as she placed herself at the tip of Steve’s arousal and slowly pushed down until he was fully inside her.
Steve moaned in response when he felt Mia’s pushing down on top of him. He loved how she swiftly took charge of the situation. He watched her as she pulled her head back and began to rock her body.
“Steve,” she whispered in a voice filled with pain. “Please, whatever happens-” she gasped as another shot of pain engulfed her. When it passed, she continued, “Make, make sure the baby is safe – please Steve – promise me you will save our baby.”
Steve exchanged a worried look with Danny who had joined him and was standing behind the paramedic. “I promise the baby and you will both be safe. Nothing will happen to either of you.”
“Promise me, Steve, please, the baby comes first,” she begged. “Promise me.”
Steve was for the first time in his entire life terrified. He didn’t want to hear Mia talking like this but he wanted her to try and relax so he nodded and gave her his word. “Alright I promise.”
Mia didn’t understand what was happening to her. She was trying to focus on Steve and enjoy the moment but everything was coming back so fast she couldn’t stop them nor could she stop what she was doing. It was as if her body had a mind of its own.
Steve felt like he was close and he could feel Mia was too. He opened his eyes and saw her looking intently at him. They got lost in each other’s eyes and together they reached their climax.
Mia collapsed on top of Steve exhausted.
Steve didn’t know what had just happened but he had to admit that had been by far the best sex he’d ever had not that all those other times with Mia hadn’t been great as well. This time it was just different but in a good way, more than good. Steve was about to say something when he felt Mia shaking and then he felt the wetness on his chest making him instantly alert. “Mia, baby, whats wrong?” Steve knew it had been too soon and Mia was probably regretting it. He tried lifting her head to see her face but she just held onto him tighter. “Mia I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Gosh I knew this was too soon,” he said dropping his head back onto the pillow as he ran a hand through his hair while he ran the other one up and down her bare back.
Mia shook her head to try to let Steve know she didn’t regret what had just happened. She tried to explain using words but when she opened her mouth nothing came out. Mia was about to try again but a ringing phone interrupted her. Mia immediately moved away from Steve clutching the sheet tight to her body. She heard him let out a curse as he stood up to answer his ringing cell phone.
Steve already knew who was calling. He was late and the call was most definitely from base wanting to know if he was going to make it or not. Steve answered his phone never taking his eyes away from Mia.
Mia didn’t know what had happened. Well she did but she just couldn’t find the words to express what she was feeling, overwhelmed would be putting it mildly. All the memories came flooding back as she made love with Steve. It was difficult to explain how or why they decided to come back in that precise moment but they did. Mia wanted to be happy, she really did, but she wished many of those memories were left in the dark, especially the memories when she was kidnapped. She heard Steve end the call and felt the bed dip slightly when he sat on the edge of his side.
“Mia,” he said softly to her back. “I have to go now.” Steve watched her body tense as he told her he had to leave. “I can’t leave without knowing if we’re okay.”
Mia knew she had to tell Steve what had happened before he left but she couldn’t find the words so she simply nodded.
Steve sighed in disappointment when he didn’t get a word back from Mia. He stood and began dressing but never took his eyes off Mia’s curled body. “Mia, please talk to me or at least look at me.”
“I can’t,” she whispered as more tears fell onto the pillow.
She jumped slightly when she felt him place a hand on her shoulder as he sat on her side of the bed. Mia opened her eyes and saw Steve sitting on the edge of the bed looking at her with a sad expression. She quickly sat up and hugged him tightly. “I love you so much Steve,” she said in a barely audible whisper.
Steve tensed the moment he heard Mia’s words. He tried to pull her away to look at her face but she held on tighter. “Mia don’t do this. Please don’t say something you don’t mean.”
Mia nodded against his shoulder. “I know it’s hard to believe but I do. I love you, please believe it.”
Steve sighed as he grabbed her hands from behind his neck and pulled her away. “Please don’t do this, not now,” he whispered. “What just happened was amazing. It really was but I don’t want you to feel the need to say something you don’t mean just to please me.”
Mia opened her mouth to protest but Steve stopped her with a soft kiss.
“I have to go now Mia but I need to know that you’ll be okay,” Steve said.
“Steve, please, listen to me,” Mia pleaded more urgently.
“Mia, I can’t, I love you so much but just stop please,” Steve said as he stood up and went to grab his bag. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Mia watched as Steve checked around to make sure he wasn’t forgetting anything before his gaze landed on her once again.
Steve watched Mia sitting on the bed wrapped in only the sheet with her hair mussed and tears falling down her face. He hated to leave her like this but he was already late and if he didn’t go now he wouldn’t be able to leave at all. Steve had a promise to keep so he walked to where Mia was sitting and placed a gentle kiss on top of her head before walking out of the room and out of the house.